ADOPTION

WHY WE ARE WE MOTIVATED TO ADOPT?

Scripture:

God’s heart: “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of
God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you
received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’”

Romans 8:14-16

Calls me into action: “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means
caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world
corrupt you.” James 1:27

Us specifically adopting: “In you the orphan finds mercy.” Hosea 14:3

“God put me to work from the day I was
born. The moment I entered the world He
named me. He made me His straight arrow
and hid me in His quiver. He said to me,
‘You’re my dear servant, through whom I’ll shine.’ Yes, God took me in hand from the moment of
birth to be His servant, to bring His people back home to Him. What an honor for me in God’s eyes! And now He says, “But that’s not a big enough
job for my servant—just to recover your own family, merely to round up the
strays of your own people. I’m setting
you up as a light for the nations so that my salvation becomes global.” Isaiah 49:1-6

“ You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the
humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do
justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may
oppress no more.” Psalms 10:14,17-18

Basic Statistics: 150,000 kids in America that need homes. There
are 147 million orphans globally. There are 35 million in Africa and more than
5 million in Ethiopia alone (only increasing with the current famine crisis).

Book: One Million Arrows: Raising Your Children to Change the World by Julie Ferwerda

GOD OF JUSTICE: WORSHIP WITH DIRTY HANDS
(a worship CD)

WHY INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION?

“Why not just adopt kids who need homes in our own country?” We wrested with this question a lot in the beginning stages. I know there are kids here who need homes in my own city. I work now for a foster care agency and I read the files. My heart breaks and I often cry my eyes out for them and think that surely we must change their situation. Adam and I actually started the foster/adopt process … to adopt 1 or 2 or 3 of these kids. We were even contacted about taking in 2 older kids in particular before we were even licensed. Going through the classes only confirmed what amazing work, ministry, and parenthood it is to adopt a foster child. I respected foster/adopt parents even more through the whole process. What a high calling from God. However….. we believe God had been doing things in us for a long time setting us in the direction of international adoption: Our hearts have always been (quite literally) all over the map. I have felt the call to adopt since my first trip to Haiti in 2001. Adam and I both have done a bit of international missions.

Before Adam and I married, we talked a lot about adopting children and the many needs in Africa. In the next few years, I dove deeper into international relief work and missions and was completely overwhelmed by the need to advocate for and change the lives of vulnerable women and children. Adam also got to use his amazing gifts with kids through teaching ESL and also got to go to Africa earlier in 2011. When we were pursuing our foster/adopt process – while still feeling like it was a very good path, I (Anna) could not shake this deep sense that my child was in Africa. I can’t really explain it, but I bawl every time I think of it. Adam, however, stated that he didn’t see how we could do it financially now or maybe ever….but he promised to pray about it. However, two weeks later, Adam shared that God had completely changed his heart – through scripture, statistics, more information about conditions/causes of orphaned children in Africa, and just an overwhelming sense of peace that we were to pursue international adoption; Adam was excited about working hard to purse this path. I was floored and now a little nervous to move forward. We then had several confirmations of this through a couple ridiculous little divine interventions, continued certainty, and the support from our friends/mentors that new us best. No one was really very surprised that this was part of our future.

I want to make clear something: I do not think that adoption is the ideal, first route of how to help orphans. I think long-term, sustainable community development work is the solution and changed hearts. (Yes – this is a total plug for World Vision Sponsorship….I will go to my grave wearing ORANGE after seeing their work in Mozambique and the leaders they were making out of the struggling youth). Being part of the solution of AIDS, poverty, hunger, and violence is the ultimate goal for helping orphans. However, there are 147 MILLION orphans RIGHT NOW and someone needs to take care of them (even if 1 at a time).

FAMILY LIFE POST ADOPTION?

We are asking to adopt of baby boy (12 months or younger) from Ethiopia. We are of course nervous about it all. We are nervous about attachment, nervous about how our kids will deal with it (less about any racial issues…more just normal issues of a sibling coming into the family –especially with possible higher needs). We are reading like crazy and my prayer life has definitely improved. I’m sure we will be humbled as parents. I’m sure we will bear some, if not many, scars from this decision. We even need to say goodbye to silly things – like some traveling we’d like to do and things we want to do with the house, etc. However, we believe that it is time for our family to not just advocate for the poor at a distance, but to take what I say about sacrificing for the vulnerable child globally to a new level, by making a child our own. I can’t even tell you how I dream of touching my little boy’s face and trying to make up for all the affection/eye contact/ silliness/ delight/ laughter that his life’s beginnings lacked due to disease, famine, and war. I think we might foster/adopt someday, as well as adopt another international child, but we will take it one kid at a time.

Regarding our kids (as we have been asked about them) – for them, this adoption is more a fact of life. We have been talking about the poor, orphaned and oppressed since they were born. They see their mama cry over children in other countries who don’t have food or families destroyed through earthquakes/tsunamis/war. They write their sponsored kids and see photos of where they live. They know very well that there are children without loving parents. They have always known that we are to do something about it – pray, give, help, etc - and have themselves suggested that we adopt. Through our questions, it seems that any reluctance to adoption is almost completely about any new little person coming in to the family that they don’t know, messing up their toys and plans. We have asked them how they feel about the color of the skin or the child not coming from Anna’s belly. They admit that it seems more familiar tohave a baby come from my belly, but it has nothing to do with the color of the skin. They both live their days in multi-cultural / multi-racial situations in school and church related activities. Though race will enter their lives more fully (and likely more tainted) at some point, I am grateful that their eyes still see through God’s eyes of the beauty and equality of all colors and races. Lukas is the minority in his school. When I ask him to explain what his friend is like, he never mentions the color of the skin. They are his friends. Similarly – they just talk about this child being their brother – no skin color attached. And just recent observation of Adelaine: she has an American Girl Doll (yeah – I talk like I’m not influenced by society, but I’m a liar apparently) - Her doll’s name is Abby. Adelaine said her doll was adopted and she kisses and kisses and kisses that doll.

WHY FUNDRAISE?

How much will this adoption cost?
International adoptions are a lot of money, which is such a shame since there are so many kids literally dying for homes. However, the more we learn about the money, the less we are scared by it.

Cost goes to:
* Insane amounts of paperwork (FBI checks, Immigration fees, copies of birth certificates, etc)
*Some to our home study (to insure we are a safe family)
*Education classes on adoption (which has been surprisingly valuable)
*A lot to the AGCI (which seems to be an amazing organization just to give to for their other orphan work as well)

*Some to the orphanage where our child is receiving really good care (so, that feels good to pay)
*And a lot to travel (we have to go 2 times….a recent change in the system)

Our Plan of Funding the Adoption
Our source of paying will be first out of our own pocket (our savings account) as much as possible and Adam’s university has some adoption benefits, which we are so grateful for. We hope to get a non-interest or low-interest loan (to later pay back some of what we will get in adoption tax credit). We are both looking for other additional jobs (and Anna will even more so once Adelaine is in full-day kindergarten). We have identified adoption grants that we will apply for and we will fund-raise.

How You Can Help?

Give – It is awkward to fund-raise and humbling to do so, but it is part of the process for us of putting it all out there. Many of the grants we apply for assume that people are also fund-raising. They want to know that the adopting parents have communities around them of people who are behind their adoption in all ways. We will definitely apply for a matching grant which would make every dollar raised matched toward the agency costs. For us – this is about kids who need help, freeing up a spot in the orphanage for another child to be adopted, and giving a child a home where they will (Lord-willing) grow up to know Him and have all the opportunities to education and love so that he may serve God and others (maybe even his own country). We will be updating this website with ways togive in tax-deductable manner through an organization or our church because they are going to the agency/orphanage costs.
Pray –Praying means the world to us. Our child will come to us with a huge loss in his life, as well as future struggles with race. He may have developmental/physical delays due to malnutrition and/or attachment issues. WE NEED YOUR PRAYERS. We (as a family – Adam, Anna, and Lukas and Adelaine as siblings) want to be prepared and also just trust God in this.
Encouragment – Sweet words do us a world of good…so does wine. But seriously, telling us that you are behind us, especially when we are waiting and waiting, will mean so much!
Random Stuff - Dude – if you are done with your little boy stuff and have no one to hand it down to – I’ll be your biggest facebook fan and “like” everything you ever say! I gave almost all of Lukas’ hand-me-downs away. I am glad I did (because we didn’t know we were doing this and it felt silly to cart it across the country), but I love me some used clothing. Just saying.
Give to Other Organizations for the Vulnerable Child – If somehow this motivated you to donate to other vulnerable child ministries or sponsor a child instead of giving to us – RIGHT ON!Our heart is for God’s children who need His help – not just for our kid we are bringing home. We know and respect several friends who run and serve in some outstanding ministries that we could suggest and I always suggest child sponsorship as well to support the backbone of good development work.

In Conclusion
Though I am nervous about the unknown.... nervous about what people think about our decisions... nervous about if they'll be annoyed at our fundraising... nervous about this little kid that wasn't made in my own body, in my own continent, in my own skin color....I'm WAY MORE nervous to miss out on something God might have for my family and for this child. My soul has whispered an ache for this child for years and now that we have started this process, I can't explain how I feel like I am missing a piece of my family. I know things could change and redirect. God has changed directions on me in the past...but for now...we will walk alongside the path He is showing us. We feel humbled by it. You are welcome to walk alongside us if you like. We will be grateful for the support. It will likely be 2 years or more until we bring our little boy home and then we’ll have some attachment and possible other issues to work through. Yeah – we may be crazy to do this, but someone has to….and we actually want to. We know our God will not just help us, but do it through us.

Isaiah 58:16-12: (Our favorite passage…it was on our wedding program and is on our wall)
6 “Is not this the kind of fasting
I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings”