1 week to go,with or without snow

Funny how with kids you count down the days til Christmas with all these different tools (shoving even MORE candy in their mouths and ADHD bodies through a candy advent or reminding them every fricken day that TODAY is NOT the day to open the presents). I try to be intentional about my own heart's preparation, but somehow manage to try to prepare the kids better than me. They know (after about 100x of prep) that Christmas is about "baby Jesus' birthday" and yet, somehow - I MISS IT. After trying to remember the theological realities of Christmas from my education and after crying my heart out at some Focus on the Family children's movie (give me a break - it isn't even good animation and I'm crying).....God meets me where He always wanted to - in my own need of my life. At times I need Jesus' coming to earth to know His pain over the deepest sins of man, like children in sex slavery and sometimes I'm aware of what I hope it means for my extended family - parents, siblings, etc. But, in the end it is totally selfish need that brings me not only to the cross, but at Christmas - to the manger. I can't seem to conquer my frustrations with my body and how I spend money or time on the INTERNET - I feel like a failure who can't even figure out how to live - I NEED GOD to come NEAR ME. Right when I'm totally frustrated with my son for his behavior recently and say"at least my daughter is easy" - then SHE starts being more selfish and tempermental than ever.....I feel like I don't have a clue how to be a parent - I NEED GOD to come NEAR ME. When I look at my husband and know that I was just rude to him or took him for granted and feel like I am lamely going to forget and do it again tomorrow, I feel like my heart is sick and I'm a poor wife. I NEED GOD to come NEAR ME. Though I want to be more "holy" this Christmas and think lots of lofty thoughts to impress others (or somehow make myself feel like I still have intelligent thoughts), I have to settle in to these lower, personal, everyday needs this Christmas. Today, these are the "reasons for the season"...that I wasn't left alone in these little things either. Without God coming near, these little things can conquer me. I'm so grateful for "Jedes, Jofuzz and Mawee" (as Adelaine calls them). I'm also glad that with 1 week to go, I still have a chance to actually let Christ enter end....and the wonders of His love, and the wonders of His love.